When is there progress?

Am I ever going to be better?

I feel like I'm not going to...  every day is a struggle in some way.  It's a struggle to get up in the morning.  It's a struggle to get myself into the shower.  It's a struggle to get dressed or put on make up.  It's a struggle to eat right or do anything outside of the house.  It's a struggle to just deal with the people in my house when all I really feel like doing is to curl up in bed and sleep or maybe read a book.

I've been breaking my doctors appointments lately too.  I know I need to go.  I know that I really have to see the doctor before I am on this new medication for too long to make sure she's happy with my progress.  It's getting there that is the problem.  At first it was just because I was scared to drive - this new medication is really affecting my concentration.  I can't focus and I've caught myself doing some pretty stupid shit behind the wheel.  I like to think I'm responsible enough not to put myself and everyone else on the road in danger by driving, especially on the motorway, so I try to only drive when I have to.  It's about an hour to my doctors office so that's a bit much... or maybe it's just an excuse not to do something.  I don't even know anymore.