My first day

Yesterday I finally gathered enough courage to get help for my depression. I'd been trying to manage it on my own, not wanting to admit to others that I had an issue. That was the hardest part, when the doctor asked me what she could help me with. Saying "I need help managing depression" was the hardest thing I've had to say in a really long time. But, my doctor was really positive. She listened well to what was wrong and asked me many questions. I was as honest as I could be, and now we've started a plan to get me well again. I'm trying to stay positive and believe that I can get through, but I know that today I'm having a good day, so it's easy to be positive. If I'm having a bad day, a dark day as I think of them, then it's infinitely harder.

I've started medication and I'll be meeting with a counsellor in a week or so to start learning how to manage my disease. It's the second time I've been diagnosed with depression, but the first doctor was hands off, asked me no questions and just gave me medication with a years worth of refills. It was never addressed again.

So far, I haven't noticed much of a change. Then again, I only started the meds last night, so I wasn't really expecting anything. I know it will be a few weeks before things really change. I do feel a bit out of sorts. I can't really concentrate and I loose focus - I went to do the laundry and forgot to get the dirty clothes. Things that are only small, but rather unlike myself.

I know that I can beat this. I just have to remind myself of that on the dark days.